Journal Three

The readings that really stood out for me were from Bridget Murphy’s Zen and the Art of Knitting. I think I might even buy the book! All of the readings that we have done so far have been about women knitting for the benefit of other people. I have learned a lot about knitting in the social context, and this is the first we have read about knitting in the personal context. I actually had to laugh at myself this weekend, because I do not own a warm scarf. Everything that I knit I give to other people! Although I enjoy giving away my pieces, the best part of knitting is, like Murphy said, the process.
All my life I have been a very spiritual person. I find it very calming to pray, especially in tense and difficult situations. I have also learned that yoga exercises breathing exercises are useful. But when I need to chill out, the easiest way for me to do this is with my fingers. Yoga is too similar to the E word for me, exercise. Praying is often unsuccessful because my mind is racing too fast. As I have mentioned in previous journals, I started taking piano classes in April. Sometimes when I need to calm down, I play my keyboard. But knitting is really my trusty sidekick in these situations, because it comes so much more easily than piano does. I have pulled more than my fair share of all-nighters in knitting. Friends have laughed at me for knitting the night away instead of finishing a paper due the next day. I think the classic experience came last June, when I had a 70-page project due the day before a big fundraiser at work. With many loose ends to tie up for both of these things, I stayed up until 3:00am finishing a blanket for a friend I was going to see after the fundraiser.
Bridget Murphy really spoke to what I have been feeling for a long time. Knitting is very meditative. Repetition is important in meditation, and it is a fundamental in knitting. Knitting has the ability to slow my heart rate to a normal pace. It really does inspire my creative juices to flow, which is why I often step back from a big project—at work or at school—to knit for a while. My heart and my brain are rested and refreshed from knitting. I have found that nothing, not piano, prayer, or yoga, is as effective as knitting for me.
When I create something with a specific person in mind, I often partake in a form of meditation about that person. I recently knitted a little scarf for a five-year old girl I know. Her 7-month old sister is terminally ill, and I thought a present in the mail would at least take her away from that reality for a few moments. As I knitted, I thought really hard about my hopes for the recipient. I thought about how I want her to be a healthy child who can love and learn from her sister, but who can also have the childhood that she deserves. When I knitted the burial gown that I will donate, I was constantly thinking about how the aforementioned baby has had a huge effect on my perspective in life. Bridget Murphy validated my love for knitting more than it probably should have. Reading her pieces made me feel like there truly is a deep, substantive place in my heart for knitting. My ability to create and to share my pieces are always simultaneously soothing and exciting for me. Unlike praying, I knit when I am in need and when I am not. I often find myself praying only when I need something to happen (or not to happen!). But I knit at every opportunity I have, and that often gives me the opportunity to slow my life down and to meditate. Before reading Murphy, I never thought about the spiritual connection I have to knitting. Self-awareness is a very important tenet of meditation and prayer. Murphy brought me closer to my personal self-awareness by teaching me that I can—and do—attain spirituality through my fingers.